Job searching can be an isolating experience. Sitting by your computer browsing job boards in your pajamas isn’t necessarily the social event of the season. And when you get the 50th “thank you for your application” rejection note and there’s no one around you to vent to, it’s easy to feel frustrated, discouraged, and all alone.
The best way to break out of the funk is to turn your job hunt into a team sport. In other words, ask for help with your job search.
But what do you picture when you think of asking for help? Are you imagining asking a stranger for a referral? If you’re already cringing, I’m here to reassure you that there are many other ways you can ask for help.
How social support contributes to a successful job search
Social support is a widely researched topic and study after study has shown its benefits for reducing stress and improving well-being. Four types of social support have been identified (emotional, esteem, informational, tangible) and they can come from a wide range of sources including family, friends, coworkers, coach, and therapist.
When it comes to job searching, the four types of social support work together to open up new career opportunities for you.
Emotional support gives you comfort.
During your job search, you could ask for:
- Someone to listen to you with empathy (without judgment or a problem-solving mindset)
- Someone to say your feelings are valid
- Someone to give you a comforting hug
- Someone to call you regularly to check in
- Someone to reassure you with kindness and compassion
Esteem support gives you a confidence boost.
During your job search, you could ask for:
- Someone to remind you of your strengths and accomplishments
- Someone to compliment you on your efforts
- Someone to say words of encouragement to cheer you on
- Someone to challenge your negative self-talk
- Someone to celebrate your mini milestones and major wins
Informational support prepares you to deal with what might come your way.
During your job search, you could ask for:
- Someone to share how they found work in your field of interest
- Someone to share learning resources and networking opportunities
- Someone to share information about the labor market or specific companies/roles
- Someone to share job application and interview tips
- Someone to share feedback on your resume and LinkedIn profile
Tangible support eases your stress by reducing your responsibilities and giving you more resources.
During your job search, you could ask for:
- Someone to cook meals and do house chores for you
- Someone to take on child care duties
- Someone to keep you accountable to your goals and brainstorm solutions with you
- Money for training (Tip: check with your local government employment agency)
- Practical supports for interviews such as professional clothing and transit fees
- Technology support (e.g. computer, printer, software programs & subscriptions) to build your portfolio, apply for jobs, and attend virtual interviews
- Connections to job opportunities
With so many ways to ask for help with your job search, there ought to be a few that you can try right away!
The key is to not be afraid to ask for help. You can even be specific about your request. After all, we all know how it feels when you just want someone to listen to you but they start giving unsolicited advice. It’s okay to say, “Hey, I’m not looking for a solution and just need to vent. Would you have 3 minutes to just listen?” or “Can you make dinner tonight so that I can finish my job application that’s due tomorrow?”
How to build a network of support so you can ask for help in your job search
Some people will be more likely to offer certain types of support. For example, a friend might give you a comforting hug and a coach might help you overcome negative self-talk. Meanwhile, there may be non-profit groups in your region which offer upskilling grants or clothing to wear to interviews. If you’re not sure what’s out there, start by asking your closest circle for information or talk to the help desk at your local library.
On the professional development side, actively attend events (in-person or online) and introduce yourself to people you encounter. Meet up for a coffee chat and stay in touch on LinkedIn. The long-term benefits will far outweigh any short-term discomfort you’ll feel.
When networking, don’t just focus on meeting those who are currently doing the work you aspire to be doing. Also connect with other job seekers so you can offer support to each other. There’s no better person to validate your experience than someone else who is going through the same thing.
Lean into the power of community!
Photo by Chang Duong on Unsplash
Crystal Lee, MPH, CPCC is a holistic career coach who helps mid-career professionals transform their work and life with clarity, confidence, and kindness. Let her know if you have a career question and join her newsletter to get the answer!
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